Our company is a forward-thinking, progressive, fast-moving company with a strong, powerful and mighty approach toward meeting--and even exceeding--your most important and vital needs.
Huh?
We have a tendency to use too many words and, in the process, not get our message across. I'm reminded of a line from Macbeth (part of what little Shakespeare I retained from high school and college):
"It is a tale... full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
(You Shakespeare buffs will notice that I left out the phrase "told by an idiot." That's because I'm not questioning anyone's intelligence here. We're all smart cookies; it's just that we don't always use our words in the most powerful way.)
It's about substance. Your business has it, and you need to get it across in your written communications.
What is it you want to tell clients and colleagues? Are you a company that thinks about the future as well as the present? Say that! How do you meet your clients' needs? Describe your product or service or strategy quickly but clearly so that readers can see and understand what you're all about.
Then eliminate excess words. "Strong" and "powerful" basically mean the same thing, so scratch one of them. Don't overuse a word like "company" too many times (once in a sentence and two or three times in a single paragraph is more than enough), or your reader will lose interest. If you get stuck on a word you've written and can't come up with a clear definition for it in your sentence, click "delete." If you're having trouble with a word, your clients and colleagues will have even more trouble. Say what you mean to say and nothing more.
Oh, and don't forget to proofread before you send :)
RSS Feed